The Best Way for an Expatriate to “fit in”!

Expatriate people come from all around the world and fall in love with the Thai people and their majestic country. There is much to discover through living here. The culture is amazing, religion is interesting and plays a big part in Thai life. This fact can certainly cause some consternation that you can learn more about it here.

It Could be Lonely as an Expatriate.

It’s a huge step to uproot from your life in Europe, America or Australia in my own case. It could be a lonely place at least in the beginning. There are many cultural and language differences that make it harder to understand what is going on. It makes it hard to integrate without some important skills such as language. If your already somewhat outgoing you can often break down barriers just by getting out and meeting people.

A New Location – Expatriate Life.

This can be exacerbated when your at a new location, certainly it can be somewhat isolated. Let’s say you didn’t want to stay in the big cities like Bangkok (Kroongtehp) or Chiang Mai, and thought a village or small town would be more to your liking.

Maybe you have a Thai partner who wants to be near family. This is a strong driving force with Thais unlike the west for the most part. Families like to be together if at all possible. Seeing parents and extended family is a powerful driving force with Thais.

Expatriate on your OWN!

Choosing to live on your own as an expatriate or with your partner as I have, can still be mentally distressing, even with a partner translating. It’s lonely in a small village, but I have some tips that will hopefully help you adjust & and understand. These tips are the ones I have used to become both accepted by family and village friends over time.

Where Do I Meet New Friends?

How do you meet new people in Thailand is a challenge. Let’s look at opportunities to meet people no matter where you may be living. The most popular way is to go to places like bars where people are already looking for company of one sort or another.

The local market in the afternoons or very early when people come out shopping is another place to meet other westerners and Thai partners. Walking around shopping centers with your partner it’s possible for you to meet other people but more challenging

Westerners Don’t Look at You!

I find the last suggestion to be the last line of defense. The reason is because most westerners I walk past in this situation don’t look a at you! They certainly don’t offer a welcoming smile and very few say hi! It’s also important to remember the westerners you walk past may not speak English. This is also common. I hear a myriad of languages when westerners are talking to partners when shopping.

Expatriate Starting to Fit In.

The best way for an expatriate to fit in in Thailand is to become part of the community where you live. You can easily become part of the community by simply helping when hands are needed. In villages and likely towns when there is a funeral, wedding or house warming the neighbours and friends all club in to get plastic chairs, tents, fan and light as well as kitchen equipment from the village/town community storage facility.

You can stand back and see what people are doing. Then step in and pick up chairs and put them in the back of the truck like everyone else is. They will be as surprised as anything when you do this. Most westerners seem to think this is below them and don’t help. Grab chairs, tables etc. and help set them up. You will be greeted with smiles and compliments even if you don’t understand. The word will spread about you very fast helping out. Your first step to being accepted complete repeat when you can.

Expatriate Learning The Language.

Certainly learning to speak Thai is very much at the top of what I would call essential skills, but this depends on you. Are you a person that loves Thailand and its people, wants to be part of the community and be treated by your neighbours then back to paragraph above is your answer.

Western Friends.

If your a person that has come to Thailand because your partner wanted to return then it’s a different answer for you. Find Western friends, join groups like golf clubs can be a starting point. You can visit bars where foreigners hang out to watch sport etc. and make connections there. I’m sure eventually, you may get an invite to meet family or if your partner is with you it may come from them and their conversations.

Retired Expatriate.

You may be a retired expat looking for a quiet lifestyle. Being inexpensive Thailand can give you the chance to live on a beautiful beach location cheaply and be mostly on your own. You can do this and just meet a few people on the beach or bars, just keep to your self. Living in a nice apartment enjoying hood internet services and TV is an option if this is your choice.

It’s likely most in the above paragraphs may not want to be closely connected to their Thai community. It may be more desirable to be closer to western friends and acquaintances. That’s certainly fine but it does not give you any Thai integration other than your Thai partners friends.

Personal Perspective.

A personal perspective from a fluent Thai and Meung (Northern Thai Dialect) speaker who lives in the Thai language safely 80% of the day. I assists with wedding, funeral and house-warming preparations whenever I can. If there is anything going on at the Temple when setting up or cleaning I have always over the years done my best to be there and be part of the proceedings.

I feel I am very well accepted as closely as a foreign villager could be. I am spoken to like a neighbor and invited into homes regularly for a chat and sometimes a drink. Just sitting around with the families and the kids with their family connects you. Being able to chat and joke with them opens so many doors in so many different settings.

I have spent many hours driving the monks to meetings from our little village in my car for free. Even though I’m an ashiest and the monks are aware we still get on very very well. I enjoy their company and their fast wit. They are pretty entertaining guys it has to be said. There are some famous monks t hat get invited to speak at celebrations. These monks both teach and entertain with life’s lessons in chats.

It’s Your Life & Your Choice.

How you choose to integrate, if you even want to can be a mix of the above. It’s ultimately comes down to your hopes, desires and needs. Whether you choose to integrate of not is a personal choice. I hope you do, otherwise reading this post may have been a total waste of time. I hope not, and wish a bright and happy life in Thailand.

There are many more insights to life and Thai culture amongst my blogs so please look through and discover more about this beautiful land and its people.

Author.

Brendon McAliece has had a long career on military fast jets taking him to some interesting places in the world. He loves to share his experiences as an Expatriate Aussie.